1. Let your parents’ emotional and physical comfort guide the process

Your parents’ priorities and perspective may differ from yours. Seemingly insignificant items may be loaded with personal meaning and memories, while objects of great material value may be less important. They may prefer old and worn objects to newer items that are in better condition. Honor their decisions.

If books are very special to your parents, they may need to determine what will happen to the volumes not going with them before they are willing to focus on other issues. Attempting to force your parents to proceed in a sequence that doesn’t address their priorities may result in your winning the battle but losing the war.

2. Try to replicate the old environment

Your parents will be experiencing a lot of change; it will be comforting to have some things stay the same. Take photographs of each shelf in the china closet, the arrange-ment of pictures on walls and items on bureaus. The photos will help you recreate the feel of the former residence with amazing accuracy and speed and make the new residence feel like home.

3. Focus on sorting, not packing

Preparing for a senior move is a major organizational challenge. There may be forty years of belongings to sort through in attics, basements and closets. In addition to items going to your parents’ new home, there may be things going to an adult son in Maine, a daughter in Texas, a granddaughter in Ohio, as well as the church bazaar, Salvation Army, a consignment shop and the township dump. Both you and your parents may feel overwhelmed.

It’s here more than anywhere else that you are needed. Helping your parents sort and organize their belongings is the single most important thing you can do to reduce the stress of moving, to ensure a smooth move and save money in the long run.

4. Accept their gifts

Your parents may want to give you items they cannot use, including some you may not be happy to receive. Take them anyway. Store the items in your basement if you must, but accept them graciously. Your parents may be parting with many belongings; knowing that cherished objects are with family makes this process easier.

5. Be tactful

Often poor health and failing eyesight result in housekeeping practices that are less stringent than they once were. Tactfully offer to clean things as you sort or pack, but avoid making your parents feel embarrassed or badly about the home they are leaving.

6. Let your parents say good-bye

When you work with your parents, keep sorting sessions brief (2-3 hours at most). Constant decision-making is exhausting and marathon sessions don’t work. The sorting process brings up memories; stories and reminiscing are natural. Accept that some days you will accomplish less than you had hoped and let your parents enjoy their recollections; it’s part of saying good-bye.

7. Be realistic about how much time you can devote to the moving process

Allow 40-60 hours for the packing and unpacking (once you have acquired all the packing materials), and at least that much time for the sorting process, spread out over several months if possible. If your time is limited, use it to help your parents prepare for their move, and obtain professional help for the pack and the unpack.

8. Concentrate on the big picture

Senior moves are stressful for the entire family, as adult children assume new respon-sibilities in addition to their own homes, jobs and families. Conflicts sometimes develop between siblings over who bears which portion of the burden or over the disposition of material items. As you work with your parents and siblings, keep three objectives equally in mind – caring for your parents, taking care of yourself, and keeping the family intact.